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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Zombies in real life!?

Bath Salts.

Nope, not the kind you put in your bath -

Another kind.

A potent mixture of amphetamines and LSD.

It makes people super-human, and very aggressive.

Have you guys heard of this stuff?

If the apocalypse comes, I know I will be one of the first to die.

I'm just not built to handle this type of situation.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Evil that Lurks Behind the Mr Coffee

Did I ever mention that I hate cockroaches?

I feel bad saying that when I see pictures of cute cartoon cockroaches, like this.


But I don't feel bad when a real cockroach, a big one with scary legs that make a bad noise, jumps out at me from behind the coffeemaker, like tonight.

At first, like many young soldiers when faced with war, I wanted to desert. And I did. I ran back to the living room. But then, I decided to hold my ground. I put my shoes on, (I don't want any buggies running across my toes, thankyouverymuch) and peeked back into the kitchen.

I crept into the closet and chose my weapons - a Swiffer Sweeper, and a can of fly spray. I didn't know if it worked on roaches, and I still don't really, but I thought it was worth a shot.

(Long range weaponry is always a safer bet.)

I came out victorious, but he didn't go without a fight.

I hope I never see another roach again.

Except maybe a cartoon one.